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A Confession:

Hello everybody,

I am an addict. I wish to admit this freely and openly, for I seek to change.

I smoke nearly a pack a day of cigarettes on average, though I wish I had never picked up a single cigarette… I can also easily drink 8 beers without feeling much of a buzz.

The sad thing is, is that alcohol is not my drug of choice, nicotine is not my drug of choice… I recognize both drugs as being extremely addictive and dangerous, and they produce nothing but diminishing returns.

Every day I suffer. I struggle to remember how my lungs felt when I was six, I recognize the hardness in my liver that I feel in my  gut from the years of drinking… I know that my lungs will one day fail miserably if I do not change my habits.

I make excuse after excuse, attempting to justify why I should go to the gas station to buy a pack of cig’s, or to buy a 6-pack of 16 ounces.

What is really sad, is that alcohol and cigarettes do not broaden my spiritual horizons at all. I find that the more I drink the less I am able to speak intellectually, the less I am able to react with any sort of higher level motor skill, the more that I do things which I regret with all of my heart. I refuse to deny that alcohol and cigarettes are debilitating, destructive, addictive, and dangerous drugs.

Thank god that I’ve got some pot right now. Otherwise I’d probably go and buy more of that crap.


To the one who I should’ve married..

It was the summer of 2007, and I was relaxing in my trailer in Iraq. I’d been deployed for nearly a year.. and I couldn’t help but feel homesick and think of my loved ones.

So late at night, and I had to go to bed. I wished that I had someone to be there with me so badly. I laid down in my bed, and began to drift into sleep. As I relaxed, I meditated on making love to you, Tiera.

*light classical music turns on in the background*

Slipping into the silence, releasing my inner essence,
Connecting with your presence, fleeting pleasure yet it’s precious.
Liquid soulful treasure, pulsing growing pleasure,
Leaving no defensive measure, against insatiable sexual pressure.
I close my eyes and open yours, you stroke my cheek and open the doors,
Forgetting fantasy our hearts implore, creating reality out of nothing.. and more.

Liquid spirit pouring out, into the night and beyond the clouds,
To feel your kiss upon my mouth, I melt and forget what it’s all about.

I worship the endless satisfaction, the releasing of my body to your actions,
My greatest thrill is your reactions, to make you cum is my ultimate passion.

Releasing my spirit into your trust, purest waves of love and lust,
Flow between the two of us, as I melt into your every touch.

The faster we go the more I see your eyes, though mine are closed I feel it burning deeper in my mind,
As our hearts extend out into the night, I am yours and you are mine.

Control of yourself you’ve released to me, yet my own will i’ve granted thee,
Forgetting ourselves so passionately, fills us with uncharted sexuality.
Our soul collapses within the cloud, of purest passion that we’ve found,
Spirits lifted high above the ground, moaning so softly to the feelings so loud.

I forget the reasons I left you, our spirits connected so whole and true,
For now at least I know the truth, you’re in love with me and I with you.


Am I an alien? Are you an alien? Are we originally from this planet? Did we come here from another planet via ancient alien ancestors? Are there aliens right now out there in the world pretending to be humans?

I doubt it. I’m a person, you’re a person, you’re a robot, i’m a robot.. a biological robot. It doesn’t really matter if we came from this star or another star or wherever, because we are. We simply are. Home is where the heart is.

I also doubt that there are people out there right now pretending to be humans..

but I don’t doubt that aliens exist.. I also KNOW that they can astrally project themselves. I also KNOW that we can project ourselves too.. and they are trying to control humans. Aliens astrally project to this side of the universe to try and kill our species in order to manipulate us into killing ourselves, so that there won’t be any fight against them when they get here sometime in the future (I’ve got a guess on the year, but you’d have to know me to get that one)

How many people are being controlled through hypnosis to do all sorts of alien and foreign things? How often do you wonder why it is that the world is so f’d up?

I wonder it every day. The dark and corrupt things which people do no longer seem human to me. Maybe it’s not human.

I copied this from some canadian website.. I hope that this will get used by many people in the future:

Medical uses of Marijuana

Cannabis Properties
What are the medical uses of marijuana, and is there any evidence to support its use?
What are the effects of marijuana?
What forms does marijuana come in?
Is marijuana addictive?

I wish for all of medical users in Canada to be more informed, and so better able to make intelligent decisions regarding the use of medical marijuana.

Now, here’s a bit of boring, but very important information regarding the weed you’re interested in smoking or eating. You should always find out as much about something you’re going to put into your body as you can, before you try it.

THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol) is the psychoactive component present in Cannabis. In other words it’s the component in Marijuana that gives you the pleasant “high” feeling. But it doesn’t work alone to produce that feeling. There are a cocktail of chemical components found in Cannabis.

Recent research has proved THC to be medically useful. CBN is a non-psychoactive agent, and is the component that makes the weed smell and taste so nice after it’s harvested and cured properly. It can also cause drowsiness and other similarly unwanted, but mild, side-affects.

Different medical Marijuana strains help different types of medical conditions. Some of the additional chemical components found in medical Marijuana are: Cannabigerol (CBG), cannabichromene (CBC), cannabidiol (CBD), delta-8-THC, cannabicyclol (CBL), cannabinol (CBN), cannabitriol (CBT), cannabavarin (THCU). All are known to have psychoactive and pharmacological effects.

Animal testing has shown that CBN and THC reduce IOP (intraocular pressure), but CBD does not. CBD has, however, been found to have anxiolytic and antipsychotic effects. Also, unlike THC, CBD alone is not effective in treating pain. Though it does act as a sedative and can relieve muscle spasms. Medical studies also show CBD can improve sleep. CBD is also reported to be effective for treatment of dystopias, Huntington’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, and neuropathic conditions.

The most desirable strains for medical marijuana use are ones that have been genetically developed by designated medical marijuana grower experts to have an extremely low CBN concentration while maintaining an available range of THC concentrates.

Cannabis Properties

Cannabis has been claimed to help with a large number of wide-ranging symptoms. However, research has concluded three major properties which are medically useful. Cannabis is:

an analgesic (relieves pain)
an anti-emetic (relieves nausea and vomiting)
an appetite stimulant (induces hunger)

A very large and growing community of people with medical complaints such as severe chronic pain use Cannabis for medicinal purposes without the after-affects and damage associated with many of today’s commonly-prescribed medications.

Typically, medical Cannabis use is practised by AIDS and MS patients, but it is certainly not limited to just these conditions. THC is also one of the safest active substances known to man, and has a wide variety of therapeutic applications including, but certainly not limited to:

Reduction of muscle spasms.
Relief from chronic pain.
Relief from nausea and increase of appetite.

What are the medical uses of marijuana, and is there any evidence to support its use?

AIDS. Medical Marijuana can reduce the nausea, vomiting, and loss of appetite caused by the ailment itself and by various AIDS medications.

Glaucoma. Medical Marijuana can reduce interlobular pressure, thereby alleviating the pain, and slowing — and sometimes stopping — the progress of the condition. Glaucoma is the leading cause of blindness in the United States. It damages vision by increasing eye pressure over time.

Cancer. Medical Marijuana can stimulate the appetite and alleviate nausea and vomiting, which are common side effects of chemotherapy treatment.

Multiple Sclerosis. Medical Marijuana can limit the muscle pain and spasticity caused by the disease, as well as relieving tremor and unsteadiness of gait. Multiple sclerosis is the leading cause of neurological disability among young and middle-aged adults in the United States.

Epilepsy. Medical Marijuana can prevent epileptic seizures in some patients.

Chronic Pain. Medical Marijuana can alleviate the chronic, often debilitating pain caused by myriad disorders and injuries.

Many patients also report that Marijuana is useful for treating arthritis, migraine, menstrual cramps, alcohol and opiate addiction, depression and other debilitating mood disorders.

Nearly all medicines have toxic, potentially lethal effects. Medical Marijuana is not such a substance.

There is not a single record in the extensive medical literature describing a proven, documented, cannabis-induced fatality. Simply stated, researchers have been unable to give animals enough Marijuana to induce death.

In practical terms, Medical Marijuana cannot induce a lethal response as a result of drug-related toxicity. In strict medical terms, Marijuana is far safer than many foods we commonly consume. Marijuana, in its natural form, is one of the safest therapeutically-active substances known to man.

What are the effects of marijuana?

Marijuana may produce the following effects (note that the effects listed below are not experienced by everyone who uses marijuana, and some people may experience side effects other than those listed):

psychological and cognitive effects such as euphoria (commonly referred to as a “high”), dysphoria (a “low”), anxiety, personality changes, hallucinations, misperceptions, sedation, and memory impairment
fidgeting, muscle twitching, and general weakness
pain relief
suppression of nausea
increase in appetite
tolerance (with long-term use) – this seems to develop with most of the behavioural effects, including the “high”
increase in heart rate (with short-term use)
decrease in heart rate (with long-term use)
decrease in blood pressure (because of widened blood vessels; it is this effect that causes red eyes)
increase in breathing (at low doses)
expansion of airway and coughing – tolerance develops to these effects
smoked-related lung damage (with long-term use)
impairment of the body’s ability to fight bacterial infections (with long-term use)
men: hormonal imbalances and decrease in sperm count and mobility (with long-term use; tolerance may develop to these effects)
women: hormonal imbalances and suppression of ovulation (with long-term use)

What are the medical uses of marijuana, and is there any evidence to support its use?

Many consider smoked Medical Marijuana to have anti-nausea benefits, but there is no evidence to support claims that marijuana is as good as or better than existing anti-nausea medications.

The capsule form of cannabis (dronabinol) is used to treat chemotherapy-induced nausea and to stimulate a person’s appetite in cases of AIDS-related weight loss. It has been shown to significantly increase appetite, but it also causes undesirable side effects such as dizziness and confusion. A major concern associated with its use by those with AIDS or cancer is the risk of increased difficulty in fighting infections.

A few published studies suggest that smoking marijuana helps people with multiple sclerosis as well as those with spinal cord injuries to relieve their symptoms.

Dronabinol was found to provide significant pain relief but it can cause drowsiness and mental clouding.

The high intraocular pressure (pressure inside the eye) that occurs with glaucoma can be reduced by marijuana use (taken in capsule form, or smoked); this is supported by a few reports from treatment of glaucoma patients.

Marijuana has also been considered for the treatment of many psychiatric disorders such as depression, sleep disorders, and Alzheimer’s disease, but no evidence exists to prove its effectiveness in these areas.

What forms does marijuana come in?

inhalation (smoked)
oral (capsules)
rectal (suppositories)

Is marijuana addictive?

It may be. It’s important to know that inappropriate use of marijuana can lead to physical dependence and addiction.
Physical dependence means that when a person stops using the substance, they develop withdrawal symptoms. Dependence has been produced in experimental studies following a prolonged intake of high doses of marijuana.

Withdrawal symptoms include disturbed sleep, decreased appetite, restlessness, irritability, and sweating. Physical dependence is not the same as addiction.

Addiction is a psychological need for the drug that leads to cravings, inability to control drug use, and an uncontrollable need to use the drug despite the harm it may cause. Whether or not someone becomes addicted to marijuana will depend on a variety of factors, such as genetics.”

TL;DR: Marijuana has medical uses.

the little things spreading out along the waves of time. The most important thing in all of this is to record the intent behind why it is that I record myself. You see, it’s difficult to sit down and type all kinds of thoughts continuously and seamlessly like it comes up in my mind. You see I can imagine countless universes and worlds, times and parallel universes, dimensions and that perhaps would not even be able to exist in real life. Maybe if one were to believe these parallel universes and whatnot, i could create stories and books. I mean, imagine creating something that somebody could get completely lost in, seamlessly, as if they were existing in their own book. That is what every single book is, and perhaps that is what is at the heart of madness in some situations.. If it’s not developed in an individual, if they’re not capable of sitting down and taking the time to sit down and relax and write and think and create, continuosly.. then maybe there would be more books, more inventions, more great ideas!! So then, record that that is my intent.. to sit down and write a book, by typing the words that i’m speaking, by transcribing my own babbling thoughts. Future me will sit down and stop and put the earbuds in my ears, and i will sit down and write the thoughts that i had in the past. I’m multitasking you see. I’m doing a project with future me. If there’s something you’ve got going on and you’re doing, and you’re thinking to yourself, “hey later on, i should do this that or the other thing.. ” all you have to do is travel through time!! blows the mind almost. all you have to do is just access the hidden dimensions that rest within the various different layers of multidimensionality that exist throughout your being. You see, because we are all energy, nothing more, vibrating along waves of time that exist as a multi-universal adapting organism. You see because I reverberate along closer to 26-30 dimensionalities above and beyond me. That is the key. To sit there.. not to sit there at all!!  but to allow yourself to evolve and mix in the chaotic froth of all the things that are combined and to be able to just step in and out of a doorway, a pathway, a simple door that you have to open before your mind. A door to the multi-dimensionality. To resurrect yourself along a different universe time.. universes that inhibit, universes that create. Universities that create men..


A state of being to a universe

get off of my sandwich creamy moo moo.!! That’s bread. That’s peanut butter. I wonder if i can hear him licking in the recording. It’s at 5:13. I’ll just have to remember that if i want to hear creamy moo moo recording.. if i want to hear creamy moo moo licking, i just have to go to 5 13 in the track D.

That’s the thing, is that as you go on throughout the day, the mind entertains itself with little little stories, little ideas, little thoughts, little dreams, in a way.. that is daydreaming!! it is beautiful, is it not, to sit down and daydream and create something truly… unique. something completely absorbed in a whole universe of it’s own. A possibility. A possibility. That is beautiful. It has the thing that it is beneath.

I could think all kinds of funny things, things that could make me laugh, things that could make me say, “omg, that is brilliant!” over and over.. but the key missing factor is that I do not write down everything that I think and everything that I say. So why not write down more of what you think and what you say.

So I say hello to you reader. Welcome to my story. Here you are. Some individual that I will probably never meet.


Instead of there being a long pause, I let out a handshake. I reach my hand out to you, and I welcome you to my song. You see, because all that we are, is a reverberation along the universes intermixing being. I can step out of the shadows through a portal, a worm hole across time.. and I can extend my hand and say “hello, my name’s ben. I’ve been waiting for you for quite some time. I’ve traveled 31 years now, and i’ve just traveled through time to say hello to you. you may be in the year 2130, you may be in the year 2046, you may be in the year 2014, the year after i wrote it down and handed it to the publisher.  You may be some of the first to read anything that I have ever written, and you have no idea who I am. Hello. You may be somebody who has heard of me. And resurrect the good dreams and the bad dreams will never become.

I am going off on a tangent. I was just thinking about a past time that I had, discussing the possibilities of the universe with another individual on the internet. We were just sitting there chatting on a chat room on omegle, and i said to myself what this person said is brilliant!! because, it harnesses a thoughtwave,  that is fasinating..


little things that are daydreams. Daydreaming is beautiful, is it not?

mind of the scientist, that’s what i’ve always been trained to be.. a little child being trained to think creatively and imaginatively, with complex resolutions to a problem.. in order to create something that’s better.

why not make something better, you know, work smarter not harder, instead of just letting it be. that is the ultimate test. the truth to one’s being. whether or not an individual can and will and does or did.. it all is inconsequential.. because the only thing that matters is what is, and what continues, and what it shall be. That greatest thing, which can define an individual. There is actions, thoughts, will.. creation is more likely.whether or not one will choose to do what they thought they would, and they did..

that greatest thing, that can be found in the individual. there are thoughts.. actions.. desires, which constantly bombard our minds, and yet we often do nothing about many of those thoughts and actions and desires. We just let ourselves forget each of the little things that we at one point in time may have thought would be the greatest idea.

creation is more likely if one will let these thoughts and actions come to fruition.the relationships between 2 and three are mind boggling. There are all kinds of variables.

5:30-close tuesday

wednesday 5-close

thursday 5:30-9

friday 4-close

saturday 530 to close

sunday 530-9

monday off

tuesday 5-close

Be there a pathway which were greater than I could ever achieve,
then let that be allowed to culmination without interference from my being…

But whatever which pathway that could ever be capably conceived,
that could ever stand a chance of emanating from the existence of my being,
shall henceforth and forthwith be dedicated to the unification of all the possibilities.

What am I? A curve along the line, the spinning revolution of a geodesic dome that infinitely scatters into the sky…
A burst of color that comes from none, a symmetry at once created while at the same time undone by the opposites creating a third dimension out of two, and six out of three..permeating beyond normal calculating capabilities due to the exponential increase of the fields reverberating into being.

I am a pool of crystalline glass soaking in the sunshine,
a puddle of sublimely shifting waves imperceptibly altering the line..
I am the infinite expanse which bursts forth from the center of my being,
a blazing fire of pure intensity.

“The primate Mystics, most of them brain-damaged, endlessly told the other primates to “look within.” Most of the primates assumed, in primitive Aristotelian fashion, that what was within was some gaseous entity which they called “mind” or “soul.”{ unable to find such an abstraction, they either gave up in despair or took their negative results as a positive revelation and became adherents of the “no-mind” or “no-ego” philosophy of Buddha and David Hume.

Of course if they had truly looked within, scientifically, they would have found that their thoughts, percepts, and reality-tunnels were determined by the structure of the primate nervous system, which was determined by the genetic or molecular design of the primate evolutionary script, which was determined by the laws of quantum biophysics. That is concretely, their brains were shaped by cells shaped by molecules shaped by atoms shaped by quantum probabilities.” P. 344 of The Schrödinger’s cat Trilogy

I love that line of thinking. The implications are amazing. Note the tags that I put at the end, and imagine applying those concepts to your bio-computer.

The other night, I looked up at the moon and I realized that I could visibly see the effect of gravity. The curvature of the space around the moon was plainly visible to my eye. I could see the light being stretched and bent around the mass of the moon. In fact, later on in the night I could even see the stretching of the light around the moon to form a purple/violet halo around the moon (at least, this is what I assume led to the halo).

As I looked up at the moon, amazed at it’s beauty, I thought of something… why had I never noticed this before?? I was with my brother and my wife, and I pointed out the things I was seeing, and they saw them too..! I asked them if they had ever noticed these things before, and they never had! I still can’t get over that.

It’s as if my perceptions were just opened up for the night, allowing me to see things that were never before visible. Why it happened, I do not know, but I will definitely be observing the moon more often from now on.

Time for a physics lesson. Everything that makes up our existence is based purely off of subatomic energy fluctuating and reverberating along dimensions we are incapable of perceiving, including multiple time dimensions.

There is a little understood theory called the Quantum Inseparability Principal (QUIP for short). The basis and foundation of the theory rests in the multidimensional wave-particle duality of photons.

Energy makes up matter that fluctuates along more planes of existence than we can perceive.

Take a modern example: Utilizing vast quantities of the non-visible electromagnetic spectrum to pass energy/messages (cell phones/radio) through the atmosphere. These waves of communication that are broadcasting via satellites globally and radio towers locally create a field of energy that has never existed on the earth in the entirety of its’ evolution. Global communication and local broadcasting equipment was unheard of 100 years ago.

That is an example and a tangent to be explored later.

Going back to QUIP… a mutliverse  and a singular universe are predicted at the same time. Everything is interconnected in a cosmic weaving of energy that cannot be 100% predicted. A particle in the hair that’s growing on my left pinkie ring’s knuckle is inter-spatially connected to the furthest reaches of the cosmos, but we have no (well… most people have no) comprehension of this.


Environmental catastrophes.

That oil spill in the gulf of mexico, the Deepwater Horizon vessel? It started on April 20. That makes 29 days of oil spewing out at 200,000 gallons a day (at least, some reports state near 70,000 barrels a day), making near 5.8 million gallons (or more)  spilled into the gulf, or nearly as much as half the amount spilled by the Exxon Valdez (which spilled only about 250-270 thousand barrels total)… with no end in sight

That volcano in Iceland is still erupting. It started sometime before April 14. That makes 35 days so far at least. The last time it went off some thousand years ago or so, it expelled ash for 14 months. There is no end in sight yet.