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Monthly Archives: March 2010

Seek Your Mantra

I lie amidst a clamorous web of illusions.
Destruction darts into my heart, though I try to defy the delusions.
From within did this begin.. or, am I a host to someone else’s confusion?

I retreat deep inside of me to escape from the delusions.
Yet words I would not ever think within me I perceive, adding further to my confusion.
What I’d believed to be choices made by me seem apparently guided to be by masterful illusions.

A light is shone from deep in my soul which is without any confusion.
When flicked it’s lit and blasts straight past any sort of devious illusion.
Though it lights the road at night my meager mind is still subject to succumb to delusions.

As I lie amidst yet another attack against my mind by the powerful illusions.
I close my eyes and focus right attempting to not play the fool and submit no longer to the confusion.
Yet the question remains, “if not from me then where do these pains come from” which only hastens my return to the delusions.

Confusion illusions and delusions, common irrationalities. Clear perception of reality eludes the most intelligent among we. For though it’s simple enough it would seem, the world and our perceptions are quite complicated things. In the mouth of madness brings a transcendental lucidity. For in inherent complexity sanity is seen as vexing. Thus the truth spawns untruth, and falsehood brings about the true.


Officially my first blog on WP. I suppose I should introduce myself.

I am a jack of all trades. Nearly every single thing that I have ever tried, I had the potential to excel at it. I have taken computer programming classes, can type 70-80 WPM, calc, physics, astro-physics, debate, and several AP courses… I am a Junior in college at UNK (Nebraska). I have studied Spanish for 6.5 years, as well as having a spot of experience translating for 6-8 months or so at a factory.

I enjoy using psychotropic drugs. I find that they help me manage my dream states. I spend an unusual amount of time contemplating metaphysics and alternate conceptions of reality. As an example, I had a lucid dream a few weeks ago wherein I took control of my entire universe and I began spontaneously creating instruments out of it, and blasted a grand symphony concerto into the heavens.

I spend an abnormal amount of my time calculating the possibilities of our existence. I have read nearly 2,000 books in my life. I grew up in dire straights. We lived in Anchorage, Alaska. I had 3 older brothers.

My dad was a good man above all else, but a drunk beneath it all. My mom had good intentions, but perhaps didn’t go about everything in the best of means. Long story short, I had a fucked up childhood, but I won’t bore you with the details.

“Think upon that which is good”

If I could sum myself up into a single sentence, it would be this: “Learn to love to learn.”

Because without learning, there is no true growth.

If you like having your mind blown every so often, I guarantee that you will like visiting my page.